.

Sanctimonious

So i was talking to my cousin this morning, he sent me a link which was linked by a mutual friend (... don't you just love being linked?). The article was originally published by Newsweek. Without discussing too much detail, the gist of the article was the "waning chances of college educated women who are still single at the age of 35, these women have only a 5 percent chance of ever getting married". Not the kind of article i like to read and so i hadn't planned on reading the entire publication. But one of the more interesting points of the study was "women at this age have a better chance of getting killed by terrorist than ever getting married". And even more interesting, this article was written in the mid-80's when terrorist attacks were not prevalent in the United States. Furthermore the study states "When you look at men who don't marry, you're often looking at the bottom of the barrel," says Berkeley sociologist Nancy Chodorow. "When you look at the women who don't marry, you're looking at the cream of the crop." Oucchhh!

The publication does have merit to their studies (which i wound up reading entirely LOL ... Thanks Ade) some borderline the bizzare and some are completely stupid. I mean, they say "When you look at men who don't marry, you're often looking at the bottom of the barrel" then on the next paragraph recant the statement by citing "no reliable census data were available for men" therefore no study was made... Okaaay!!! Basically a lot of college-grad women who are in the studies age group have worked through their 20's building careers but paid a big price in return. It's like they set aside their lovelife to build a career, unbeknownst their doom. But not to worry because 8 out of 10 female college graduates will marry, so the researchers are admittedly "talking about a select group of women" which makes it even more stupid the presumption about men...

The irony of it all is that the link was sent by the same person who said she "Didn't Believe" in Marriage. What kind of girl, of a Filipino descent doesn't believe in getting married anyway? I understand skepticism or lacking conviction and even being unconventional ala Kurt Russell-Goldie Hawn, but a non-believer... that's just Crazy Talk!!!!! Most of us were conceived from a marriage and in the Filipino community, divorces are virtually non existent. Furthermore most of the divorces in my beloved country are rich trendy celebs who probably thought it was the Hollywoo'd thing to do... When this girl met my mother she greeted her in our national language tagalog ... "magandang gabi po" uttered in perfect enunciation and i know for a fact that she speaks her native dialogue fluently. So evidently, she's old fashioned Pinay.

Conversely, she's not conventional in her choice of men, or friends for that matter. Really, that's okay because i have many non Filipino friends myself. But as a Filipino, i can't help but wonder why most if not all of her friends and ex boyfriends are all white folks. But anyway the link really begs the question "what was she doing reading about a study of women a certain age and their chances of getting married?". If she didn't believe in marriage then why bother with the article, a 20 year old one no less... I can only presume she had a change of heart, right? Because i don't think you can escape the innate instinct of man to interact and the common need for companionship. Sure she said at one point of her life that she didn't believe in marriage but she obviously possessed man's common need for companionship because she shared a home with a beau. See to me and to many Filipinos, the sanctity of marriage and procreation is not only being in-love or fulfilling cultural and family traditions, it is our Christian duty...

So what the hell is my point? Well i don't know exactly but being a non-believer in marriage then her reading an article about marriages just seemed a perfect contradiction that consequently incited my interest, therefore i blog.

Posted by: Marc Gabay
Tuesday, May 30, 2006