Monday, June 19

Stealing my Heart

So there's the theoretical Top 100 list and the veritable top 10, in which Catherine Zeta Jones still sits atop Mt Olympus, followed closely by the most beautiful Death Dealer Kate Beckinsale. In real life there is no such theoretical list of course but instead a true empirical list. A list of real crushes, dates, girlfriends, affairs, wife and the girl that absolutely stole your heart away. I've got one up on everyone because i've got an ex-girlfriend's ex boyfriend whose absolutely obsessed with me (long story) ya NICE!!!

Rachel as mentioned in my previous blog (-Like Champagne Supernova-) is my first crush (3rd grade i believe). And if i remember correctly my second crush was Marion in 4th grade, but the crush only endured a couple of years as she was replaced by this girl Sherry in 6th grade. I found Sherry in Rachel's friendster profile and to no surprise she is also a Nurse (such a Filipino cliche'). I sent Sherry a friendster message "hey Sherry do you remember me?". Her response was absolutely hilarious "yea how can i forget you hit me coz i ripped your picture" hahaha good times. She's married now (...of course) with like a thousand kids probably.... Rachel however remained one of the hometown cuties that all the guys gawked at whenever she was around. In fact she was on everyone's theoretical top 5 list. But you know i never went for the hometown cuties or the illustrious prom queen types. Although i am a leo and find it hard to be constant (...according to my astrology) getting the girl has never been about mounting the trophy on the mantle. I always went for the girl with the quick wit and great smile and if she happened to be drop dead gorgeous then its all gravy (...unless the girl has long legs. Then all bets are off hahaha). I actually spoke to my cousin about this important matter once. I told him that if i were a rock star i wouldn't do the cliche'd dating a model thing but rather, I'd bang models like Rebecca Rojmain or Rachel Hunter (...damn that Rod Stewart) and take home a nice girl like Mandy Moore or Rachel McAdams. But even then, there still might be something rotten in Denmark, right?

Allah or Marie they call her here (Jaja's younger sister) was the undisputed Sta Ignacia hometown hottie. She was so hot her much older cousins had crushes on her (...sickos). And contrary to what i said about going for the prom queen types, i had a crush on her and used to see her the summer after my freshman year. That's how hot she was, she changed my philosophy (... and i won't even mention things guys used to say they'd do to her lol). However, it was her sister that really caught my eye. It really goes to show that preference and stating your type in women is overrated. I always said (even when i was very young) that i liked tall women with dark complexion, morena they call it (Jaja is short with a very pale almost mestiza complexion). The following summer i went to see Jaja but before i was able to state my intentions at the door, her uncle who answered the door assumed it was Allah i came to see, basing on the previous summer visits (...this is a good story read on) "oh hey Bam, come on in and have a seat" he said and quickly turned the corner to retrieve her. So i sat there with a nervous titter certain that my goose was cooked. But of course being the gentleman that i am i did my best to explain the matter to Allah. "Oh, uhmm, i'll go uhmm, get her then" she slowly muttered after my meager attempt to explain my change of heart. She looked not dejected but completely bewildered hahaha.

But all the High School stuff was all for naught because i actually didn't get a girlfriend until after High School. Her name was Maya (Maya is also a bird, in fact its the Philippine national bird). She was tall, slender and morena of course. She was my first kiss (... officially that is, long story. So maybe some other blog entry haha). Maya was studying to become a nurse (of course, what else is there?) who actually had a crush on one of my friends. In fact she asked for a picture of him to put in her wallet (... and i gave her one). But that was the beginning of my courtship (and yes with my friends permission). I liked the girl and i couldn't figure out why she liked my friend better than i when i was the one giving her all the attention. But faint heart never won fair lady, so i pursued her. And sooner than later it was my picture in that precious wallet. Unfortunately soon after my triumph i would leave for the United States for the rest of my life. And tomorrow is a promise to no one...

And so began my quest for a white girl. Let us admit. At least once in our lifetime, in the Philippines or here in the States we've all dreamt of dating a white chick, or at least wondered what it would be like. Well let me tell you, they're wonderful. They are sincere, open-minded and most importantly, abundantly sensual hahaha. I've been fortunate enough to have dated four and even made the mistake of falling in-love with one and actually gotten married. Dreams can turn into nightmares in a hurry i tell ya lol... Well after i'd gotten divorced and fulfilled my dissolute white girl dreams i retracted to the incomparable Filipina babes. My life of decadence had reached its peak, and so i've returned to the land of haranas and wowowee.

My return to the promised land however came to an abrupt halt. The Filipina girl i was dating was 6 years older than i (i was 24 then) . Her biological clock was ticking so loud it was almost audible. I think she wanted to marry me because she kept asking why i didn't say the L word yet after dating for almost an entire 3 weeks. I had no choice but to break it off (... i did it via email. That was a first). After her i met this tall Filipina with long legs (... shit i am a sucker for long legs man). And somehow that relationship lasted for five erroneous years. I think i aged and matured exponentially during the time by virtue of hardship (mostly my fault i'll admit). I suppose that is what Mahatma Ghandi meant when he said "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever" or in short "you live you learn" if you apply it to relationship terms anyway.

So this was a couple of years ago. Now i am almost 31 and single as uhmm, yea, single as the day i was born (lol). After being married followed by a on older girl who wanted to marry ensued by another long term relationship (thats 9 years collectively and a couple of affairs in between hehe) i felt it was incumbent that i remain single for a while. Staying Single is not to say 'complete abstinence' from relationships because you never really close the doors on that. It's actually a very volatile proposition. See when i said "i want to remain single for a while" i was actually serious. In contrast, when women say it (...most women anyway) or when they say "oh ya i'm not looking for anything serious myself" it's often bogus which in turn gets you in a heap of trouble when you're not careful. And unfortunately its happened to me in more than one occasion, but i can't say it wasn't fun though haha. The only problem with this is, when you actually start to like someone, you'll have trouble weighing your options. You like a girl but not quite ready for a relationship yet, and if you do the volatile "telling the girl you're not looking for anything serious approach" and she actually agrees, how do you really know she's being honest?. In consequence you start fumbling around... like you forget to walk her to her car on your first date or you fail to attend her Birthday Party after promising you'd attend ( and this is fact). Or worse yet, she confides her feelings for you and for fear of not closing the deal you respond with mee too... Yea that one didn't have a happy ending. And needless to say i failed to shoplift the poody.

And so i haven't perfected the art of being single. But anyway the one that stole my heart away, yea...


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