Thursday, February 14

My funny Valentine

"My funny Valentine... Good morning!" i greeted my friend Sarah the morning of Valentines day. "Oh My God thats some funny shit" she said excitedly. Apparently she was wearing a Snoopy shirt with those exact words sprawled across the chest haha. Ironically that is where her Valentine spirit ends. She and her guy had no plans for a romantic dinner nor do they believe it should be a tradition. They're planning to put if off for the weekend which would include the giving of flowers. She even gets to pick em' out. Talk about deflating romance... And if they didn't go to dinner every weekend maybe i could convince myself to agree to this tactic. But never the flowers...

In my case, although i do not have a girlfriend or a romantic interest i felt i had to make some kind of a Valentines gesture for my fall back girl (long story). And no we didn't make plans for a romantic dinner either. We are basically beyond that. And you know what Woody Allen said about relationships, right? "Irrational and crazy, but we go through it all because -we need the curry-"... So the day before Valentines i ordered Red Roses (Yes i am traditional) from 1800flowers.com. I even picked one that was tagged "Available Same Day" just in case. And i have to tell you, although it is that time of the year this would come as a surprise to her. And that is what matters most on this particular Valentine. The element of surprise, not romance... But fate is cruel. She would leave work early that day to run some errands (Doctors appointment and do taxes).

She wanted me to come with her and some friends for Dinner and Karaoke that night. A prospect i must say, i find less than appealing. My plan was to say NO but could not find it in me just yet (correspondents via email...). But since she left work early i had to come up with something good. You see I was gonna wait until she got the flowers and then say i couldn't go because i was saving money for my upcoming Mammoth Trip (Next Week...). Leaving her no room for rebuke hopefully. But then i thought of something cunning and sort of romantic at the same time. I even made a little dramatic too. I said i had no extra money to spend so it was either take her to a nice dinner or surprise her with flowers (and no combination) or nothing at all. I went with the most romantic option, the flowers. I even got an "awwww" for that one. God i am good (or sick if you prefer...).

So no karaoke or fancy dinner with her dopey friends. Instead i was chillin' at home talking cars with a pal of mine. He thinks his car is a little homosexual. I guess he keeps seeing mom's driving around with the same car. I think that's a valid concern, don't ya think? Anyway that's neither here nor there. I spent my evening at home with my two wonderfully annoying dogs and watched a couple of movies. Not romantic by far but Foxy was extraordinarily sweet that night i noticed. Perhaps she knew...

The next morning i was awakened by my pregnant sister. She sounded almost worried for some reason. It was funny too because she was asking if i were alright. "Why wouldn't i be" i asked, concern in my voice then too. Apparently both of my cell phones that i had left in the den (work and personal) were ringing off the hook that morning (Oh, this was 8:50 am when she woke me...). There were three calls from work and two voicemails, two from my fall back girl and my alarm was going off every 5 minutes. Inexplicably 5 calls came from my sister and mom too... I was sound asleep in my room. Gees... Anyway by the time i made it to work i was two hours late haha.

After checking my voicemail from work (the call came in at 5:15 am btw...) i called my fall back girl. I thought she was calling to thank me for the flowers but apparently she just had a question about my friend's auto repair shop (she's had some problems with her car). It didn't occur to me right away about the flowers. I found out later on she had not received the flowers. And this annoyed me quite a bit...

After phone calls to 1800flowers.com that had failed to go through because of a spike in "call volume" and being unable to verify the Confirmation Number they provided online, i called my bank to dispute the matter. I no longer cared whether she got the flowers or not. And even she seemed to agree with this disheartened sentiment. It had indeed lost the element of surprise...

So what the heck happened? Well despite the fact that i indicated in my order that it is a place of business, they still attempted to deliver after 5 pm. Yup that was not very smart, was it? This problem was widespread apparently because two of her co-workers did not receive their flowers either. When i finally got a hold of someone from 1800Flowers.com, and upon discovering the time of delivery she began to explain to me as to why the local florist would deliver at such time. It went like this "Well if you noticed, the time of delivery posted on our website is "9 am to 7 pm", uhmm, and, uhmm, you did indicate it is a Business didn't you? Well let's leave it at that". Then happily refunded my money...

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