.

Like a wax museum with a pulse

A few weeks ago a good friend of mine ask what i was doing on the weekend of the 15th (March) sort of casually. I said i was juggling a few ideas so i wasn't sure and that i was leaning towards a museum of some kind, maybe. That was the end of the conversation. A somewhat indifferent question followed by a non-committal and ambiguous response. That is sort of how our conversations usually go anyway...

The eve of the 15th she phoned me saying she and her classmates were attending the very popular Body Worlds exhibition at the California Science Center and asked me if I'd like to come along. Coincidentally enough it was exactly what i had in mind when alluded to the Museum idea a few weeks back maybe. It was a nice coincidence too because i was struggling to find someone who would be interested enough to come along. And before i knew it, i was being volunteered to drive them. Uhmm No big deal i guess. Three cute girls, two of them single and the other a soon-to-be divorce' with a body to die for by the way... It's a small enough price to pay to hang with three cute girls anyway...

In the morning when i picked my friend i was greeted with a major vehicular rebuke. "Why do you have your truck? I told the girls you were taking the Si!", sounding genuinely disappointed. "I didn't even know you liked my car" i said curiously. "I love the car..." she said, sounding as if she were drifting away all of a sudden. I never saw my Honda as "Pimp" i mean come on it's a Honda, but for a few precious seconds that morning she made me feel as if i drove a Hot Ferrari or something straight out of a Dr Dre music video "As i dip a nigga trip to the south side, yea (Rollin in my six-fo) with all the bitches sayin'. Swing down, sweet chariot stop and, Let me ride". Apparently some girls dig the lowly Honda's too...

Body Worlds for me was less than impressive but i think still a good experience. It certainly brought in a huge crowd especially from many of the surrounding Nursing Schools in L.A.. Though i doubt they they'd learned anything substantial during their visit. I think most of them were just glad to be out of school and just sort of frolicked around. I was in it more for the visuals rather than the medical facts. The fact that the bodies were only either plastic or composite recreations was somewhat of a big disappointment for me...

We were separated in the museum because i strayed-off a lot, and besides most of their topics of discussion were either about the stupid husband or the unavailing soon-to-be ex boyfriend. It was sort of painful to listen to so i had to get away. "You girls need to choose your men more wisely..." i said as i drifted away. "Shut up" one of the girls barked at me. Although i think that would actually be the only appropriate response to my rather candid remark lol.

They seemed to share my sentiment about the Body Worlds' less than impressive exhibition so we all agreed to take off early and have lunch in China Town. The food unlike Body Worlds was impressive as usual, predictably so. We ordered an assortment of seafoods, pork, and beef and feasted to our tummies delight. Everything was fried of course (of course!). After devouring our foods and paying the bill, one of the girls asked if i would be willing to take them to WestWood (which is clear across town..) to get their bi-monthly Brazilian Wax. Yes so random. I wish i had seen the look on my face when asked that question because i'm pretty sure i looked like i was concealing my excitement as i tried to utter an appropriate response. Sure it was way across town and sure i mentioned i wanted to be back home early to watch the remainder of the 12 hours of Sebring on TV, but come on they wanted to be hairless! How could i say no to that?

So there i was driving far away from home and missing the annual 12 hours of Sebring (A tradition in the life of KoolGreen) all for the sake hairlessness. Besides wouldn't it be too uncool of me had i said no? Seriously has any girl ever ask you to take her for a Brazilian wax? Let alone three? Rest my case...

The place was sort of hidden appropriately enough and didn't look to be a place of business from the outside. In fact i thought it was a place of residence. On the inside however was a complete makeover, although rather cramped. It looked to be well designed, comfortably furnished, and felt even sanitary or stub free if you will. The girls went in and got cleaned-up one at a time in the wonderful waxing-room while i waited in the little lobby, which by the way were only separated by a scrawny curtain. Okay relax i did not peek...

Naturally you would expect (or at least hope) for some kind of a happy ending to this rather unusually cool story. But I'm afraid I'd have to disappoint you. One of the girls hung on to my DSLR with the new 17-40mm lens while i used the restroom. A decision i am sad to say i would regret forever. You would think that someone could hold on to something precious for a brief moment risk free. I mean i was in the restroom for no longer than three minutes. Three minutes! What could possibly go wrong in three minutes? I guess the Camera had somehow slipped her grip. Hitting the solid floor. She tried to deny it a few times of course but her face betrayed her. That face was unmistakably guilty... The camera suddenly was displaying a generic error on the LCD screen so i knew something bad had happened. In three short minutes my somewhat promising day had turned dramatically awry. Damn...

Getting just cleanly shaven might have been her saving grace on that awful moment because deep inside i was mad as a hornet. I mean how could I get really mad at a cute girl who'd just received a Brazilian Wax treatment?

I suppose the moral of the story is to never allow a girl who'd just gotten a wax to handle expensive toys. Focus is diverted elsewhere...

Posted by: Marc Gabay
Sunday, March 16, 2008