Tuesday, February 21

Love, philosophically that is....

Invariably we as men have that certain someone who we couldn't have... our unicorn, so to speak. In many cases more than one girl. Love or life is simply that way... everyone of us or at least those who have had many relationships have left behind a partner or two who still clings on to hopes of reconciliation. By no measure of craziness is this abnormal. Its a proven fact that men and women are likely to revert to a previous fling or relation especially when the new one is not as fulfilling. Needless to say this does not apply to all and especially if the previous relationship was traumatic. However many of us probably mostly men do not prescribe to this philosophy of going back. Well in my case reverting would be a practice of futility... Myself and some friends i know never wish to get back with any of our ex's but do have that certain girl who we never had an opportunity with... and so we ponder.

We also have our top 100 most beautiful women list. Now... naming 100 women is hard enough so making an actual top 100 list seems a cumbersome task. So to simplify matters a top 100 list should only contain popular women and to over-simplify you need not designate an actual number, or rank, but a range in the ranks i.e. Scarlett Johansson makes my top 5 list while Rebecca Rojmain makes the top 10 (Adrian and i constantly update each other's list). Marco Frank and i over breakfast at Denny's bantered about our top 100 list... well actually just Marco and i because Frank somehow is incapable of making a list so instead he rates them by a scale of 1-10. First girl i named was Kate Beckinsale... she makes my top 5 i told Marco. He was almost livid with this decision... whaaat?!? man i am disappointed he clamored. So then i had to explain Listen i said you have to realize that a man's top 100 or top 5 may be completely different from another one, in fact i am completely certain none of my top 5 girls makes your top 5. And sure enough after naming each others top 5 girls none of mine made his and vise versa. Its quite simple really... Similar as men are in carnal taste, as in nice ass and big boobs, we vary in who we find cute, hot, beautiful and completely ravishing. For example, Catherine Zeta Jones i find ravishing and makes my top 5.... she makes an unimpressive top 40 in Marco's list. He claims the age (Catherine is 36- Marco is turning 29 this March) is the culprit. Sheryl Crow makes his top 10 while she doesn't even make my special mention list... yes, we contrast in taste.

Adrian and i regard our list with sanctity, only the deserving make it. This means no porn stars and druggies. Only women with class and grace make the sacred top 100. Marco on the other hand seems to think that his list is an existential entity in his life... or at least he thinks it should be. And so to test my devotion to the sacred top 5 he hatched unrealistic philosophical questions like "if i had to select which girl to sleep with... Kate Beckinsale or Scarlett Johansson???". Normally i would indulge in such fun activity but perhaps i was feeling a bit Spartan. So instead i asked Marco to revise his questions to a more life-like scenario, something that will make me feel more inclined to answer. He made a wry face then thought about it over pancakes...

Frank who was vigorously eating his Denver Omelet and Pancakes gave Naomi Campbell a scant 5.7 in a scale of 1-10, 1 being the worse of course. He liked Rebecca Rojmain much better giving her a generous 8.5. But when Marco mentioned Tera Patrick, Frank actually stoped eating then perked up with a smile. Even i who could care less about rating women in porn propped up out of my comfortable slouch to hear what he had to say. Now do you mean pre or post boob job he eagerly retorted... then went on and on about her LOL.

Back to Marco's philosophy... he came up with some other unusual and unreal questions that only he seems to comprehend. But suddenly he pulled the trump card out of his sleeve, a question he knew i will almost not fail to answer. Would you take a four year affair with Scarlett Johansson plus a child over Marriage with Jaja??? First i thought to myself why on God's green earth must there be a child with Scarlett? But Marco had me. Even though i did not want to answer for fear of becoming mawkish he came up with the right name, the one girl that never escapes me. And so i put my fork down to ponder the great question. When i came to... with a stern face i said i didn't want to Marry Jaja nor have a four year affair with Scarlett Johansson. He said it would be a blissful Marriage or if i should decide to choose the Scarlett way she would die in a plane crash ending also a blissful affair. What a lucid idea i sarcastically told myself... I wouldn't have agreed with either one because Scarlett is 20 years old and i'm 30 and i don't actually wish to sleep with the women on my list (it would be incredible but come on...) nor i would like to have a blissful lifelong Marriage with Jaja because if i were to marry her or anyone for that matter i would prefer not having prior knowledge of a blissful or otherwise miserable marriage. Where's the fun in that?

But i tell you what i would take over the four year affair with Scarlett i told Marco. What he curiously responded. I would take re-living the seven days Jaja was here in LA last December... moments later i realized i really meant it. I think my response really surprised Marco... perhaps he was thinking along the lines of Romani Malco the enthusiastic black guy in the movie "40 year old Virgin" who told Steve Carell "You are putting the pussy on a pedestal" LOL. Maybe i am putting it on a pedestal, but don't we all?


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