Friday, January 27

Forget New Jersey Part IV

Part I
Part II
Part III

Marco who is turning 30 next year said "30 is the new 20" i laughed and i thought "that is such a cliche". So is he then going to prescribe to another one of life's cliche's and say "life starts at 40"... in a decade? Fact is we are getting old... thirty is old and fourty is much much older. It's quite a remarkable coincidence that these guys i hang out with, my new found friends are around the same age as i and single. Perhaps our bond is our common similarities.. besides poker and snowboarding we are all getting old, unsettled and in no such hurry to be. But were not kidding anyone... we are not getting any younger and i'm starting to worry if any of us is going to make some kind of a stride into adulthood. Particularly Marriage... Doesn't it strike you a bit strange that a group of guys (around 8 guys i think) who went to the same High School together and closing in on thirty years of age but yet none of them, not a single one have been close to getting engaged?? It strikes me as strange because every other group of guys i know from the same High School who are still friends at around the same age have at least several whom are married or at least have children. Did these guys come into an agreement?? Haha i doubt that. I at least am relieved of that pressure no matter how much my relatives and friends of my parents clamor the idea of settling down because the been there done that reply appeases them, even only briefly, until next meeting. I wonder if these guys get the same treatment from their relatives?

I often wonder what it would've been like to have attended High School here in California instead of the Philippines. Would i still be a bachelor? (remember: bachelor not only means unmarried but a man who has never been married) Would i sound the same? Dress the same way? Would i have attended Poly High in Arleta or Adrians alma matter John Burroughs High?... and perhaps more importantly, would i be wearing my pants below my ass??? My Alma Matter Don Bosco Technical Institute was an all boys Catholic High School. Yes its as boring as it sounds... most of the teachers were Priest or seeking Priesthood. The only cool part about attending High School besides playing in the High School basketball varsity team was riding the school bus along with all the girls from Holy Spirit, my school's all female catholic school counterpart... It was cool because they all looked so nice and fresh and even smelled good... Hahaha yes i know that sounded a bit... uhmm perverted. Maybe it was their gold Marilyn Monroe like uniforms (if you catch my drift) or the transverse seats that invited my wandering eyes as they sat down and crossed their legs. Of course you have to somehow disguise this... but we all knew this was happening, and yes even the girls. Some did their very best and made conscious efforts to keep us from sneeking a peek. Some were oh-so-un-careful and some were proud to display their majestic glory... ahh thanked God to them girls huh? LOL... other than that High School was rather ho-hum... really.

The Jersey Girl of course takes the cake with my High School memories. Even though she somehow retarded my progress with girls (since i pinned all my hopes on her) i don't blame her for it. I don't quite remember how this all started. Perhaps Jaja herself knows better than i because when she was here and asked me when exactly this crush started... i really had no clue. I made a wild guess and said it started at 13 years of age but she quickly said NO... "it was way before that" ... i swear she sounded almost annoyed that i was way off. I was sort of taken aback that she remembers better than i. It's funny how devastatingly nerve-wracking it is for me to be myself around someone who i really like and be completely at-ease to otherwise complete strangers or just some girl whom i'm trying to lay. Of course this all depends on the level of interest. Jersey girl resides on the highest peaks... and all throughout High School when i was around her my mind was a flock of pigeons, fluttering away (lol i'm sure you've never heard this phrase before.. its from my new Novel.. and i'm sure you can figure you what it means, right?).

Well now 15 years later she visits LA and no matter how much i consciously tried to ward off her mystique, all of my feelings, like kindred spirits were rekindled. This thing cycled around like i'd been waiting all along...... Dare i say it... dare i say it?.. fate? nahhh! The facts are hard to ignore but i'd better stop before i get carried away here hahaha.

Well before i get really old i'd better go see her. Coz damn it i've tinkered long enough... I'm 30 years of age, been married and divorced and have had a few serious and tumultuous relationships... and i'm going to travel 3000 miles to see about a girl. The same girl i liked and had a crush on over 17 years ago (or way before that apparently), the one that got away and the same girl i've been dreaming about for as long as i can remember... Damn it if that isn't fate then i must be fucking crazy.

Of course i wouldn't fly 3000 miles away just for any girl... to me no one holds a candle to her... not even close.. In fact before her visit here coupled with my jaded attitude towards women and relationships i was content with my life. I had peace of mind with absolutely no worries and life as it seemed was exactly as i imagined... it was simple. The only worry i had was whether Big Bear would yield enough natural snow over the winter. But the events during her stay here in LA last December and thereafter behooves me to go see her. Nothing it seems is more important than this trip...

In the words of Trixy, Adrian's prophetic girlfriend, words of wisdom that she muttered to me on Jersey Girl's fateful last evening in LA, words which i regretfully ignored (and also hints from the Jersey Girl herself... apparently)... "go ALL IN dude!!"...


At 4:32 AM, Blogger zenmasta said...

Now you are an oxymoron.


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