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It's the peach fuzz

As mentioned in my "GQ Diatribe" entry i cancelled my Maxim and FHM subscriptions several years ago. Maxim lasted three years while FHM only a short year. Perhaps as the years droned i realized how frivolous and uninteresting the articles were, i was in many ways disenchanted. The gist of the magazines of course remains the women, not only the girl on the cover but in the contents as well. I must say in the three years i subscribed (... the first three years of Maxim's existence) i never once disliked the covergirl. What Maxim pioneered in was featuring relatively non-model-like cover girls, girls if not for their fame wouldn't be pegged by Heffner or Flint worthy, and undressing them. Girls like Jamie Lynn Siegler who played Tony's only daughter in the HBO hit Sopranos, she is by the way, of a non-Italian descent or like Mia Kirschner. (... hopefully someone will comment her actual descent ahem ahem). Who else would put Jamie or Mia in a bikini and print on glossy paper for us to gawk at? Cosmopolitan? Maybe in daisy-dukes and flip flops... But thanks to Maxim we will have lasting memories of these girl-next-door type of famous girls (of course they occasionally print the boob jobs-Pamela Andersons, the models-Amanda Marcums and the classic beauties-Catherine Zeta Jones). Of course the point is moot because Playboy & Hustler are of a different kind of entertainment. But anyhow that is what made Maxim a great new magazine, in fact they are the best selling for-men entertainment magazine in America outselling even Playboy and all the other Maxim spawns.

As great as they are their articles i'm afraid have become mundane. Hence i've unsubscribed. Although not in complete abstinence because i still get em' provided the covergirl is right. For instance Kelly Hu made the Maxim & the Unleashed cover, i just couldn't ignore it lol. I picked up a Cosmopolitan because Catherine Zeta was on the cover haha. In the financial aspect, i purchased i believe two Maxim's and FHM's each which cost just over $12 which is the actual cost of an annual subscription. In essence by not subscribing to both magazines and buying only a total of four i've saved $12, well lets say $6 because its $9 to renew (basing on 5 years ago when i subscribed, i've heard its now $13-$15 annually) . So for $6 more i could have owned all 24 issues instead of 4, i guess its not financially smart not to subscribe? Bloomberg aside, money isn't so much the crucial element here but scorn for paltry content and prodigious advertising (... 50% of the contents are advertising... a lot of money for Maxim sure, but not good for readers, its like that movie with 45 minutes of previews). Maybe it's the Principle, the composition of my desired women or at least what is pleasing to my eyes. Therefore money is no matter. I lament that i do not have access to see the new glossy girl pictures anymore but pleased that i'm a no-longer a subscriber to a now, indistinct, once great magazine.

So in the last several years only a distinct few magazines have made my stack, with the right cover girl of course (not limited to Maxim or FHM). To name a few I have the most beautiful Asian woman Kelly Hu on a few magazines, the sultry North African & very demure Charlize Theron, the part Filipino Leann Tweeden -- but i learned she has fake boobs so she's ostracized from my list, i'm still not sure how i was fooled they were real--, Esquires sexiest of 2005 the hardbodied Jessica Biel. And lastly the # 1 on my personal sexiest list (Yes even before Playboy called her "The sexiest swimsuit model in the world"), Polish model-actor Joana Krupa.

I want to also name some of my all time favorite Maxim cover girls, in chronological order. The still # 1 in my top 100, the undisputed Catherine Zeta Jones Issue # 10, the perennial covergirl Rebecca Romjin (yep before getting Married to Stamos) Issue # 9 & 59, Issue # 25 & 71 Shannon Elizabeth who can forget her role in the movie American Pie?, Issue # 31, the XMEN girls Rebecca Romjin, Famke Jensen & Halle Berry, one of my favorite blondes (... mom blondes that is) Monica Potter issue # 39 ( she's the blonde FBI detective who played alongside Morgan Freeman in the movie "Along came a Spider"), Jessica Simpson Issue # 49 & 78 still the girl i would like to see the most to appear in Playboy in the nude of course, Issue # 53 Kelly Hu, who can forget the Italian Goddess Monica Belucci Issue # 65, the best tennis player never to win a singles tournament Anna Kournikova Issue # 63 & 80 (My mom bought me Issue # 80, i looked at her and thanked her with a disparaging look...) and finally former Miss Teen USA and the only Filipina (half i believe) to grace the covers of Maxim Vanessa Minnillo.

I've realized that there is a certain psychosis to this covergirl thing... or maybe an exact science??? Scarlett Johanssen for example, recently voted FHM's 2006 sexiest, was on the cover of Cosmopolitan September 2005. I couldn't buy it, i kept telling myself 'its a Cosmopolitan!! ' attempting at least three times... but purchased one with Catherine Zeta on the cover without so much a thought.

Posted by: Marc Gabay
Tuesday, March 28, 2006