Friday, July 7

Best laid plans of mice and Men

So... Frank and i were set on looking at Naked women after David's Poker Tournament last Friday. Besides it had been over 8 months since my last Strip Club visit. So you might say Strip Club visits are only as frequent as the dreaded Dentist Office appointments, every 6-8 months or when necessary lol... Personally i think lap dances are a waste of money. The whole grinding thing never really did it for me. It feels artificial... But of course it is, right? The girls are doing their jobs and you get what you pay for, an artificial manifestation of the sexual drive. Yes i've applied my own personal Freudian psychoanalytic theory about strippers; therefore i do no lap dances and stick with the dollar bills in the front row lol.

Thanks to gregarious Frank and his hookups the entrance fees are waived. Although the club which we get free passes to is somewhat shabby chic the girls are actually okay. But like a true Strip Club patron Frank likes to visit the other fine institutions in the greater San Fernando Valley. He is someone you might call a Strip Club Connoisseur lol. So as a devoted acolyte to the great connoisseur i follow him to North Hollywood's squalid but famed Deja Vu. There we spent 4 glorious hours of front row naked spectacle. Unlike the limited number of girls at the Shabby Chic club, Deja Vu has got so many that no girl danced more than two times the entire time i was there. In conventional Strip Club standards that is pretty damn impressive. Even the connoisseur would agree to that...

Contrary to my Freudian theory of lap dances i really wanted to get one from this white girl Nadia (lol). Because even though she has the proverbial stripper tattoo (...you know the one on the ass) and had on the infamously tall stripper stilletos, she wasn't your quintessential silicon enhanced stripper. She doesn't have tight abs like that of Kelly Monaco or legs like Goldie Hawn/Rachel Welch (the tummy curve is discernible... man that is sexy). Think Leeann Tweeden-like bod only she is a White Girl with an all natural breast like that of Jessica Simpson (B+ Cup if my assessment serves me right...). I was smittened by her. I fought the temptation for quite a while but considering i was on a free roll (Free Roll is a poker term for a Free Buyin -I won $500 the previous Sunday) it was just a matter of time before i gave in. In an ironic twist my reluctance cost me the night and the sought after lap dance because she was already dressed to leave when i finally approached her. As a consolation she gave a feigned smile and informed me of her schedule the following week... Great i'll just jot that down on my PDA!

Incidentally the guy at the club entrance is the boyfriend of a friend of mine. Which only meant lap dance redemption haha. So several days later on a Thursday night with the blessing of the Great Connoisseur i had contrived an elaborate scheme. The girl was suppose to go to dinner with me and then cap off the evening at the club. But i think the bf had something to say about it because she suddenly pulled the old last minute "i'm not feeling good" trick to get out of it, but she still hooked it up with the free passes haha. Perhaps he was afraid of statutory rape... I'm kidding (she is 18 lol). Shenanigans i say. More importantly i still went but without the Connoisseur. But to my dismay Nadia wasn't on the bill even though my PDA said so. Maybe she called in sick. I guess it wasn't to be...

Until next time Frank, i got free passes....

1 Comments:

At 11:56 AM, Blogger zenmasta said...

Hey Hey Watch it... you got kids under 25 reading yer blog, sir. please be more discreet...

 

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