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I Deduce

Three jobs ago (9 years ago) i worked and befriended this petite girl who i am still friends with. Although she can be a little dingy, she is pretty smart and can hold a conversation like the best of them. Perhaps that's why our friendship endured throughout the years despite our lack of effort to fulfill the promise that we hang-out occasionally. In fact, after working and car-pooling together for nearly three years, the next 6 years of our friendship only saw an average of 1 meeting a year. It's one of those relationships, where, planning was more frequent than the actual deed. Well my then girlfriend took precedence over her anyway. Besides, my gf was jealous of her. Aside from that, petite girl was also a serial-flaker which made it even more so difficult... When we were able to meet though-- all she did was talk about how men are so difficult to understand. Why men keep leaving her, why most men only want to sleep with her... Interesting questions one might think. If you ask me though-- i say it's a general problem. Even i tried to sleep with her... She never took it seriously though. Of course i never really pursued the matter. I only sort of alluded to the fact that i'd do her given the chance. Because a guy-girl friendship without some sexual tension just seems emasculating, doesn't it??

I am not sure if everyone would agree but i think that her issue of why men only want sex is about as ordinary a fact-of-life as going to work. A gross generalization but its true... At least for women who have an alluring svelte figure like hers anyway. As a matter of fact, she should consider the so-called issue a blessing not a curse. And why she was talking to me about it not a female friend who might relate to her better is a mystery to me. Maybe she felt i could actually offer a legitimate answer to her narcissistic concern... If you're wondering what my response was, then wonder no more-- I told her I didn't give a shit and that the day men stopped trying to sleep with her is the day she should start worrying... Bitch!

Interestingly enough, she was the girl who asked me to the Dave Matthews show in Irvine. (see "Crush" entry a few days ago). The extra ticket originally was for her boyfriend who dumped her May of this year. I was only too happy to oblige. See, if you do the math-- by the August 25 Showtime, she would've had ample grieving time, saving me, in turn, the grief of being a shoulder to cry on, smart huh? (lol) Trust me, she has coaxed me into hanging with her before just so she could talk about her ex-- more than once i might add... Besides, when sex was the topic of conversation one time i sort of alluded to the fact that i would sleep with her. Well only because she kept talking about her self. Nowadays she even teases me about it. Now, i regret ever telling her that. I think the better answer to the hypothetical "would you sleep with me question" is an emphatic "NO" or better yet "Only if you're hypothetically offering".

We are both big fans of Dave Matthews... In fact Dave Matthews was always the choice of music when we hung out at her place. To make sure i didn't forget she would check-in with me periodically to remind me of the forthcoming show. Mindful perhaps of our flaking history together. Several days before the show we made our final transport and rendezvous arrangements. I was to leave work 3 hours early and pick her up at her pad at 6 PM.

So... Everything set in stone, work going by rather swiftly, the traffic abnormally light, i wasn't sure if it were a prelude to a perfect evening or an anti-climax. I got home so early i had time to take a shower, eat a light dinner, feed the dogs, and print out map-quest. Originally, considering the rush-hour traffic i was going to pick her up straight from work, but traffic was so light i was 40 minutes ahead of schedule. Anyhow the anomaly was answered soon enough. Just before i was leaving home, map-quest and car keys in hand (... about 5:51 PM), she sent me a text message "Well, i am not going to the concert anymore". I re-read the ambiguous text about 3 times before deciding it was for real. I didn't care so much to know why she decided not to go anymore so i didn't respond. All i knew was-- she ruined my mood and the much anticipated evening with Dave Matthews. They were her paid tickets and i suppose she had the right to cancel on me. More importantly, what really irritated me more than anything, was her rather crass text message. I mean there is no rhyme or reason there! And what about all the planning we did? I guess i can only presume she had a valid excuse but somehow felt i didn't deserve one but a dismissive text message.

One thing i don't do and don't like is to do is ask people to explain themselves and so i didn't bother asking. I just stayed home and watched the Dodger Game which lasted 5 1/2 hours. I really don't see the point of begging for an excuse i guess. Like when my car was totaled on a stupid Highway Accident because the guy mis-judged his speed and distance from the stopped cars ahead of him (i mean we were at a full stop for nearly 20 seconds). I didn't asked him What the Bleep he was doing... What's the point of being rhetorical anyway? I don't know and don't care why she flaked on me. I suppose it didn't come as a complete surprise that she did, even for Dave Matthews. As a final thought, maybe she elected to take someone else instead. Maybe the decision to take someone else was made the day before and in an attempt to conceal the betrayal-- she cancelled me moments before departure. An elaborate scheme? I doubt it. I deduce she did indeed attend with someone else in tow but was not adept enough to produce a cohesive excuse therefore sending a hasty text message...

Posted by: Marc Gabay
Sunday, August 27, 2006