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I've always been sort of an anti-AOL person. I detested it the same way i do the Eharmony.com and Match.com TV commercials now. There's just something extremely deceptive and illusionary about them, isn't there? AOL claims to be fast blah blah blah. In truth though no Dial-Up is ever fast. That's like saying you're the tallest midget.

That's probably the worst analogy i ever made. Anyhow, like many weird unwelcome things that have happened in my life recently, the insufferable America On-line has joined in the fray. Apparently Verizon's DSL service has a strict No-Late-Payment policy that rivals the Militaries sexual harassment Zero Tolerance. Fuckin' weird if you ask me... Initially i thought it was just one of their usual service interruptions and believe me its almost intolerable, but after more than 7 days, it became apparent that it was more than just a hiccup. The Verizon bill was paid but a few days late, so the lovely folks at Verizon cancelled the service. Nevermind that i've been a faithful Customer for 4 Years... Just the DSL mind you (the phone service remained on...) and they had no qualms taking the money. When i called i felt reprimanded for being late on my payments and was told i couldn't reinstate the account unless i signed up for a brand new account with a 1 year contract. Why on Earth would i need a new contract if there are no direct competitors in the area?? You mean there's no Easy Button?? A faithful Verizon DSL customer for nearly 4 years, where would i possibly go? AOL dial-up or something? The silly part is that it would take 5-7 days to provision a new account complete with a new installation kit+DSL modem that would come in the mail. The same kit they sent me 4 years ago which i still have and is in great working condition. I guess it would make too much of a perfect sense if a home monopolized by a DSL provider to have an Easy Reinstate Button when they happen to miss a bill. It seems silly and unjustified to be subjected to the horrors of a new account setup.

Of course the unspoken truth is, if you are late on your bill, however faithful you've been-- they screw you-- so they can Slap you with another one-year contract after chastising you for being late on your bill and make you wait 10 business days for the new service to boot. I suppose an Easy-Button would make it too efficient a service. Very customer friendly and loyalty-inspiring i must say... So i'll wait like a crack junky for a fix. Only because i have no choice, i've called everyone and their mothers, all's i've got around here is Verizon DSL or the always adventurous dial-ups. So unfortunately as much as i would like to part ways with Verizon, i'm at their Broadband mercy... Dial-up yea, that's like going back to poppin' pills after years of sniffing grade A Columbian Cocaine (another bad analogy?)

I await Better Days...

Posted by: Marc Gabay
Thursday, August 03, 2006