Thursday, August 3

You've got Mail

I've always been sort of an anti-AOL person. I detested it the same way i do the and TV commercials now. There's just something extremely deceptive and illusionary about them, isn't there? AOL claims to be fast blah blah blah. In truth though no Dial-Up is ever fast. That's like saying you're the tallest midget.

That's probably the worst analogy i ever made. Anyhow, like many weird unwelcome things that have happened in my life recently, the insufferable America On-line has joined in the fray. Apparently Verizon's DSL service has a strict No-Late-Payment policy that rivals the Militaries sexual harassment Zero Tolerance. Fuckin' weird if you ask me... Initially i thought it was just one of their usual service interruptions and believe me its almost intolerable, but after more than 7 days, it became apparent that it was more than just a hiccup. The Verizon bill was paid but a few days late, so the lovely folks at Verizon cancelled the service. Nevermind that i've been a faithful Customer for 4 Years... Just the DSL mind you (the phone service remained on...) and they had no qualms taking the money. When i called i felt reprimanded for being late on my payments and was told i couldn't reinstate the account unless i signed up for a brand new account with a 1 year contract. Why on Earth would i need a new contract if there are no direct competitors in the area?? You mean there's no Easy Button?? A faithful Verizon DSL customer for nearly 4 years, where would i possibly go? AOL dial-up or something? The silly part is that it would take 5-7 days to provision a new account complete with a new installation kit+DSL modem that would come in the mail. The same kit they sent me 4 years ago which i still have and is in great working condition. I guess it would make too much of a perfect sense if a home monopolized by a DSL provider to have an Easy Reinstate Button when they happen to miss a bill. It seems silly and unjustified to be subjected to the horrors of a new account setup.

Of course the unspoken truth is, if you are late on your bill, however faithful you've been-- they screw you-- so they can Slap you with another one-year contract after chastising you for being late on your bill and make you wait 10 business days for the new service to boot. I suppose an Easy-Button would make it too efficient a service. Very customer friendly and loyalty-inspiring i must say... So i'll wait like a crack junky for a fix. Only because i have no choice, i've called everyone and their mothers, all's i've got around here is Verizon DSL or the always adventurous dial-ups. So unfortunately as much as i would like to part ways with Verizon, i'm at their Broadband mercy... Dial-up yea, that's like going back to poppin' pills after years of sniffing grade A Columbian Cocaine (another bad analogy?)

I await Better Days...


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