.

Paint Balling

My friend Sarah asked me what i was doing for the long weekend... "The usual" i said. Basketball, work, and poker-- in that order. "Nice" she retorted. I didn't insert the "Paintball Plans" Dennis put together for the KPT boys because i wasn't that thrilled about it. I only agreed to go for PR purposes. Sarah on the other hand is going to spend the weekend in Solvang with three other couples. "Yikes!". Their own version of Sideways she said... She always does that to me-- ask me what i'm doing for the weekend maybe half-hoping i'd say something other than Basketball-work-Poker. She seems the consummate romantic, although, admittedly she thinks she is deficient or immune to love. But you know, women only say that when they are single. They tend to sing a different tune once a boy grabs their attention. That's only too true, isn't it? But anyway i wished her luck on her romantic endeavor.

I was a bit disappointed that not all of the KPT boys were able to make it to our first Paint Ball experience. Jerome said it was just too hot. Hot is relative... come on. Jee was still in bed at 3 pm-- i suppose that is a good excuse. Randy said he is too fat but that's no matter because Frank was there. Scott who expressed the most interest was no where to be found and has been absent from KPT for an entire month. Conrad and Rolls flaked...

With an Ice Box full of Beer and some water we headed North on the I-5 towards Magic Mountain to this place called "Field of Fire" situated in the outskirts of Santa Clarita. The place is rustic, sort of put-together by scraps of plywood and hand-me-down bar stools and picnic tables that have seen better days, porty potties and second hand equipment. It is charming in a way because you can see the passion in the faces of the kids who play there despite the unsophistication of it all. They looked genuinely happy there among their friends amidst the heat, the dust, the scampering squirrels and slimy looking lizards. It was kind of pleasing in a quaint kind of way.... Dennis who works there briefed us on safety. For the first time since i have known Dennis he spoke in a serious business-like tone. For the life of me though i couldn't take him seriously as our Referee. The entire time he was briefing us about field rules all i could think about were all the Poker bad beats he's inflicted upon me. I began to feel anger and an overpowering desire to shoot him in the mouth while he spoke. I wanted to exact my revenge with paint rather than chips... But, for the sake of others, i remained calm and somehow was able to intently listen to his instructions despite my fiery intentions. Perhaps it was the beer that kept me leveled (Good beer idea Hana). LOL.

The game started with Frank going out first in no more than 10 seconds. I think it was even before he was even able to fire a single shot. Gerry the supposed veteran in full battle gear complete with extra ammo and bullet proof vest went out next shot by the Riverman Rolland. Gerry said it was a lucky shot. Rolland also made good of his promise to kill Hana shooting him behind the head in point blank range leaving this Mars-like looking nut in his head. Me on the other hand, before i was able to find anyone to shoot at, it was over, Rolland and Josh had taken everyone out. It was like the Guns of Navarone or a multi-rebuy poker game, bang-ban all-in...

Frank despite his best efforts to camouflage his portly frame made a habit of getting killed very early on. Soon after the whistle is blown actually (signifying start of play). He even fell in a tunnel hurting his nuts in the process. Josh on the other hand i think kept forgetting the fact that he is 6 foot 3 because he kept trying to move through the field of fire swiftly only to fall on his ass and once on his face (i shot him when he was down... Naturally). Hana and his brother in law David were very aggressive always in attack mode leaving them vulnerable to crossfire. Frank got David in the face in the 6th game and David had no idea who shot him while Frank wasn't even aiming for David. I think it was target practice to make sure his gun was firing (coz' it kept locking up)... I caught Frank doing it again in the same Game a few minutes later. Needless to say i sprayed Dutch-Boy Fire on his ass... "Ouch ouch ouch" he clamored.

At the end of the day, though tired, bruised, and dirty as beggars, we had a fun filled day. I never was able to fulfill my wish of shooting Dennis (and Gerry). He was just too smart and had the benefit of plentiful experience... In fact he killed me 3 times. Shot me several times in the face, once in the neck, and in my ankle to finish me off in the last Game of the day. Dennis didn't even bother wearing the right gear. He wore shorts and a tank top as if to mock us... Gerry also shot me in the face while i was coming out of a Tunnel. He was waiting for me all along like a mouse trap...

Posted by: Marc Gabay
Sunday, September 03, 2006