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Filling up the Potpourri part III

After working for the same Corporation and abiding by its strict dress code in the last Six years i have amassed a plethora of dress pants in my closet. I've got so much i could actually go over an entire month wearing a different pair every single day of the work week and still have some left over for a weekend out of town if necessary. I purchased dress pants every chance i got (which is to say-- when stuff went on sale in Macy's). I had this weird fear that someone was taking notice every time i wore the same pair on certain days and so i kept buying more (lol). That silent wardrobe critic ya know. But I kind of thwarted that doctrine in a way-- because even though i wore a fresh pair every day i never ironed my shirt hahaha...

A couple of months ago though my Department was presented an absolute gift. Our Manager the domineering man that he is was shipping out to the Tennessee office for good (He moved his entire family there, i don't know why!). Until i heard the news i had no clue we even had an office there lol. Well, an absolute gift wardrobe wise at least because we no longer would have a manager who enforced among other silly rules, the Corporate World's Business Casual Rules. Ironically enough i had just purchased three more pairs of Khakis no more than a few days before the rather auspicious news ( i suppose i could have returned it... but it felt un-natural haha). None of us actually said anything about dressing down in the boss's last days. Though apparently this was a common unspoken understanding with the fellows because the day after the boss finally removed himself from the premises and out of California they wore riped jeans and old Beer t-shirts hahaha. I think i was the only one dumb enough to still abide by the Business Casual rule for another week. Maybe i was in denial. After a small pep talk from the guys i followed suit in congruous with the rest of the team, i dropped Business Casual like a bad habit. And I tell you what, i didn't go through Business Casual withdrawals once i switched over haha...

The downside to all these exciting changes i realized, is that i don't have enough jeans to equal that of my dress pants amplitude (not even close). Suddenly I had a new logistical problem. But in the interest of change i took it all in strides (not to mention not having to iron anymore). I'd purchased 4 new pairs of jeans in the last 2 months and counting...

Yesterday in preparation for my co-workers Miami trip we took a trip to Macy's. He needed sandals and some beach stuff he hadn't picked up from Target the day before. I hadn't been to the mall with this person before so i had to give him my usual pre-mall aptitude test (You know, to test for compatibility). The first test question was "Do you shop like a girl?" which he emphatically answered with a "NO!!". He did well on the other questions as well... (lol)

So we hit the mall like a couple of bad ass mofo's on a mission. My friend for his Miami sandals and me the Corporate defying casual jeans. The newly built Simi Valley Mall was almost deserted when we arrived (thats the beauty of mid-day shopping). We walked leisurely into Macy's, sunglasses still on ala Reservoir Dogs. Like the pseudo expert that i am i assured my mall pal that the "Mens Section" should be on the second floor (we walked into the Ladies section in the bottom level so it only made sense Mens was was upstairs, right?). Upon ascending there however, to my puzzlement all we found were dresses and lingerie stuff. A little embarrassed i suggested the basement floor, only there was no basement floor when we descended below. At this point i had to ask for help (lol). I didn't feel too bad though because being lost in the mall isn't half as bad as holding a mapquest printout and asking someone for directions at a gas stop.

Apparently the stupid Macy's mens section was situated in a different Macy's building. Yes, the Mens section is in a different building all together. I found this very odd... In the broader perspective, there are two towering Macy's buildings on each side of the Simi Valley outside mall like citadels or strongholds. Obviously we hadn't noticed it when we approached. Though i am not quite sure why they segregated the Men's from the Women's. Are they trying to make a point? Perhaps the architect is a woman and a reticent sexist? Maybe she strategically placed the womens section on the right side of the Mall in an attempt to manifest the human Cerebrum where the larger hemisphere of the brain resides-- implying that women are smarter than men, who knows...... Like real mall nomads we traversed to the other side of the desolate plains by foot. The lady did say it was just on the other side-- meaning to suggest it's not far at all. Half a freakin' mile later we were still walkin' (maybe not a half a mile but it was very very farrr). This led me to believe she had a part in the Mall Cerebrum conspiracy... F'cking sexist... lol

After we'd done our stops, i walked away with a pair of sandals and a pair of Corporate defying jeans. My friend on the other hand walked out empty handed claiming he would finish up at another mall. Geez he's a hell of a shopper...

Posted by: Marc Gabay
Wednesday, March 14, 2007